Thursday, September 27, 2012

Back to School 18

Smoke slid behind the desk. He was pissed off. He'd had a hard enough time getting through the crowds. Forget finding out the time and place. That wasn't even a problem for a pro like him. But the crowds. He hated crowds. And the kids. Ugh. Detested them.

He thought it would have been easy enough to enlist a young recruit. But no, it had to go all wrong. There were no female agents in situ, they were all out of the country. He had eyed some of the kids while he was getting to the location, and considered pulling one out of the crowd and 'persuading' them to do what needed to be done.

Somehow though, it all went amiss. First, as he had made his way across the lawn to the building, he was accosted by a group of misfits parading around with crosses and handmade signs. Frosh Week.  He'd tried to ignore them, but they refused to let him go. They pressed pamphlets into his hand. Proclaimed that Jesus was the Answer. Asking him had he had pledged to give his faith unto the lord and to repent and receive the Lord Jesus Christ for the answer to all questions was Jesus. He had grunted noncommittally at them, and had, for a few seconds, considered knocking one or two out. But that would have been disrespectful. So he'd shrugged his way through, nodding and waving his pamphlet at them, jogging to the building.

Now, as he slid behind the desk, he was experiencing another problem. He couldn't fit. The space between the desk and the puny chair was tiny.

'What the beep is this? Barbie doll furniture?'  He muttered to himself, struggling with the desk now, as he had somehow got himself stuck between the desk and the chair.

'Hi. Can I see your id please?' A small girl stood expectantly at his side.

'What do you need my id for? This isn't a bar.' He finally extricated himself from the dimunitive furniture.

'Um. This is the exam room. That means you have to show your student ID.' She stated primly.

'Yeah. Okay. But I can't fit in this tiny contraption.' He kicked at the leg of the desk. It almost fell over.

The girl looked around, 'There's a desk over there by the window. I think it's bigger than the regular desks.'

They walked over to it, and Smoke looked over the desk. He made a face, then sat down with a sigh.

'Your ID, please?'  She asked again. He patted himself, looking for where he'd kept it. He found the wallet and pulled out the required card. He looked at it, then looked sideways at the girl a few times. He tut tutted a few times, then handed the card over.

The girl looked down at the card. A cute girl with long black hair was smiling poutily at her.

She looked at the man, and he was facing out the window, his hand covering the right side of his face.

'Um. Mister...Basanti?' She read from the card. 'There seems to be a mi-'

'Yeah, I know. Ehm. It's not a very flattering picture. I, ehm, had to take the photographer out.'

'Out? You went on a date?!' The girl's eyes were round like saucers.

'No! Ehh. Out like, out. TKO.' He fidgeted.

'TKO. Um, okay. Why would you do that though?'

'Listen, is this an interrogation? I came to write the damn exam. Who are you anyways, to ask me these questions?' He huffed, a bit put out. 'You're not a professor.'

'No. I got selected from my school for a student exchange!' She beamed at him proudly. 'I'm fulfilling the duties of an invigilator.'

'Invig..Aren't you kind of...young?'

She looked offended. 'Aren't you kind of OLD?' She gestured with the card.

A bustle at the front of the room distracted them both, as at the same time another invigilator slapped an exam booklet on the desk. It was time to begin the exam.

In the ensuing silence, Smoke turned the exam over. What the hell is all this? He flipped through to the second page, then the third, and kept flipping to the end. Holy sheet what am I doing here?

He fidgeted with the pen, looking at the clock, his mind racing. Answer, answer, answer, answer. The questions on the paper seemed to be taunting him. He glared back.

He read over the exam again. If he had any clue about the subject matter, he was sure this was an easy exam. All he had to do was choose one of 5 different questions, answer 5 short word answers about the question, then explain all his answers in one last question that was worth half the exam grade. Simple

Or not. He glared at the girl who was walking down the aisle, and she seemed to be laughing at him, with a smirk on her face. She knows I'm not supposed to be here. She thinks I can't answer anything. Psh, I'll show her.

He flipped back to the first page, and read through all the questions, nodding to himself. Yes, he could do this. He looked out the window. But how? The sounds of bells tolling caught his attention, across the wide lawn of the campus was a church.

He turned to the first question. Answered it.  Went to the next. Answered it. He made short work of the rest of the questions. Then threw his pen on the desk, he leaned back and sighed. He stretched out lazily again, crossing his arms behind his head.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Back to School 17

'I'm dying!' Layla slid out of her chair onto the ground.

Nerdy jumped up and ran around the table, kneeling beside her. 'Shh, it's okay.'

'No! How is it okay! I'm too young to die! I have so much to do! I have to get married still! I need to see all of Hollyoaks before I die! I have to...I have to write that exam!'


'No! Get away from me! This man... I will kill him!' Layla jumped up and grabbed a fork from the table, and jumped at the man still sitting lazily in his chair.

'I'll stab you with this fork!' Layla tried getting at him with the fork and was knocked aside.

The man stood looking down at Layla. 'Where did you get that line from?'

'What are you talking about?' Layla spat at the man.

'Forget it. Give me your purse.'

Layla held onto it.

'For fudge's sake. Give me the goddamn bag.'

Nerdy pulled it out from Layla's grasp and tossed it to the man. Layla turned on her heel and stomped off to a remote corner and sat down, burying her face in her arms.

The man rummaged in her bag, pulling out her wallet, pocketed it. 'Tell her not to worry about the exam.'

Nerdyy scratched the back of his neck. 'Err, okay. I will. But why should I? We're going to die. Not going to make a difference, will it?'

'I don't have an issue with the girl. She's annoying but that may be it. She's a kid, and she has to do well in school. I can promise you this at least, she won't fail.'

Nerdyy looked over at where Layla was hopefully not crying.

The man pressed a button on his device and the sound of gears turning could be heard. As Nerdyy watched,  the door opened up again.

'I don't understand any of this. You said you wouldn't hurt us.'

'And I didn't. You did this all on your own.' He put a leg through the door and then turned back to Nerdyy.

'And no, your food wasn't poisoned. You'll live.'

Back to School 16

Layla and Nerdyy eyed the tall man as he uncovered the tray and set out plates of steaming food. Satisfied, he looked up at them.

'Please, take a seat, and have some food.'

'Err, maybe later,' Nerdy muttered, eyeing the food and licking his lips.  'I, err, not really too...Ah..ouch.' Layla pushed past him and rushed to the table.

'Oh my God. Chicken! Chicken! Oh, it looks so good! And lamb! And cauliflower cheese! All my favourite foods! Yess!' She sat down happily, tied the napkin around her neck and dug right in.

'Err, Layla...Are you sure you're hungry?' Nerdyy tried to put a little nudge into his tone, hinting to her that perhaps it wasn't such a good idea to eat food from a stranger. For some reason though, Nerdyy found that he couldn't say this out loud in front of the stranger. Odd, he didn't want to offend this courteous man who didn't want to hurt him.

'Are you crazy? Of course I'm hungry! Look at this food! We haven't eaten since...' Layla stopped to think. In the silence, Nerdy's stomach growled loudly.

'Please, eat.' The man gestured again, and grabbing a chair for himself settled down. Nerdy shrugged to himself and sat down. Damn, it smells so good. It feels like I haven't eaten for weeks. He took a forkful of food and almost died with joy.

After eating for a few minutes, Layla and Nerdyy realized that the man was just watching them. Suddenly awkward, Nerdy put down his fork.

'So, can you tell us where we are? What are we doing here? And..'

Layla interjected, 'And who the hell are you?'

All traces of cordiality vanished from the man's face. Layla froze, seeing the frown. She exchanged looks with Nerdyy during a very uncomfortable silence. Then the man finally spoke.

'Where is IQ?'

Nerdy shot a look at Layla. 'Err, IQ? Who...ah..'

'We don't know!' Layla threw at the man. 'Even if we did we won't tell you!'

'You realize I won't let you go until you tell me?' The  man said in a soft yet somehow menacing tone. 'So you should think carefully before lying to me.'

'Let us go first! Then we'll tell you!' Layla refused to budge from her stance. 'In fact! Maybe we will show you where she is!'

'First you tell me you don't know where she is. Now you want to show me?' The man raised an eyebrow.

'Well, we won't tell you anything then! Until you let us go!' Layla crossed her arms stubbornly, and tossed her head.

'Umm, mister.' Nerdyy said thoughtfully. 'Say we tell you. What do you plan to do with IQ?'

'That's my concern. Not yours.'

"Ah, well you see. It surely is my concern, and I'm sure Diyah's also.' He shot a questioning look at Layla, who shook her head furiously. 'We care about our friend.'

'Friend?' The man looked curious. 'You don't sound like a Brit. This girl here does, but you, you sound foreign.'

'Yeah, I'm from- OUCH!' He shot a look at Layla and bent to rub his leg under the table. 'I'm from, err, Uganda.'

'Ehm.' The man blinked at Nerdyy. 'Orite then.'

'He cut off his dreadlocks for me!' Layla tried to explain. 'And yeah, he did look hot with them, he gets them fixed at the hairdresser every week just for me, and I like men who take care of themselves! But I like short hair you see. Like my John baby! Hot!' She nodded again at the glares of both men.  'WHAT?'

Both men started laughing.

'What?' Layla looked around mutinously. How dare Nerdy laugh with this man! What a bloody traitor man! I swear I'm gonna knock his head out!

'Err Diyah, calm down. I know what you're thinking.'

'Huh, what? How?' Layla asked.

'Remember, I can feel you."

'Oh yeh.' Layla actually blushed.

The man cleared his throat. 'If you don't tell me, I promise you, you will live to regret it.' He was playing with a knife he'd picked up from the cutlery on the table.

'You don't scare us!' Layla retorted.

'Look. Keep me here. But let her go. She has an exam tomorrow, and she's young, you can't have her fail her exams..'

'Romeyo! I ain't writing that stupid exam. I don't know anything yet! It's your fault, you can umm adjust the marks or something, can't you!'

Nerdyy breathed in, seething. I'm trying to help her get out, and she's making it worse. 'Diyah, I told you, I'm just a guest lecturer. I don't have any influence like that.'

'What do you mean? You're the one giving the freaking exam!'

'I know! But if you had paid attention,'

'Don't blame me now!-'

A keening siren wailed, silencing them. Layla and Nerdy cringed and covered their ears. The big man waited then pressed a button on his device. The siren stopped.

'I don't know what the beep your issues are. And I really don't give a beep. But if you aren't going to tell me where IQ is, you are the ones who will be responsible for what will happen to you.'

Nerdyy gulped.

'Okay. You want to know who I am. I'm an assassin. I kill people.' The man looked at both of them, and sat back in his chair, crossing his arms behind his head lazily.

'You, you're going to kill us?' Layla whispered.

'I may. I may not.'

'Where's your gun? How do you kill people? I don't see nothing.'

'I work undercover obviously. I don't want attention. I don't like attention. The best way to kill people is naturally. Food.'

Nerdy and Layla stared at their empty plates in dismay.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Back to School 15

Layla hit redial.


‘Hey, it's me again.’ Layla said.

‘No really? I really didn't know. I saw my caller display saying Layla and I thought maybe it was Mallika Sherawat calling me.’

‘Listen, I don't need your sarcasm right now! I don't know where the hell I am, or how to get out!’ Layla was trying to keep calm.

‘What do you mean? Where are you?’

‘I told you! Aren't you listening to me! I. Don't. Know! I have that bloody exam tomorrow and I can't get there!’

‘No no. Don't try that with me. No excuses. I will ask you once more only, where are you?’

‘For fudge's sake man! You're bloody useless!’

‘Don't yell at me Layls, just look around you, what do you see?’

Layla looked around her. ‘I see...sand.’

‘What do you mean you see sand? Who asked you to go to the beach?’ The voice on the phone intoned.

‘No! Just sand, only sand. Like it's a bloody desert in the middle of nowhere!’

‘Don't lie to me.’

‘ I swear to God! I am not lying to you. There's sand as far as I can see. No point even trying to walk. It's just sand, sand, sand!’

‘Hmm. You got drunk?’

‘Ye...NO! I'm telling you! You're not listening to me! ARGGGGH’ Layla threw her phone as hard as she could. It went sailing like a sixer, slammed into a sand dune with a crash, and bounced straight off.

Nerdy sat up from where he was slumped on the sand.

‘What the hell? How's that possible.’ He walked closer to inspect the sand dune. Although there was sand all over the ground, he had a vague disturbing feeling. The sand was piling up against the same spot where the phone has smashed into, but in a very strange way, almost as if it was separate from the dune. He peered close, feeling the sand at his feet and then suddenly the dune opened out and before he could think, his head was slammed and he reeled backwards holding his head.

‘What the heck?’ He blinked away the faint stars buzzing in his vision. The sand dune had just opened up into a door!

‘What the f-!’ Layla swore from behind him.

A man entered, and closed the door behind him. He was holding a covered tray, and he walked over to a large hill of sand, pulled out a device and hit a button. The sand fell away, revealing a table and chairs. He set the tray down and motioned to Layla to join him.

Nerdy eyed the man as he was busy at the table, and reaching behind him, he scrabbled with his fingers to find the door. A crack, a handle, anything. His fingers weren't finding anything. He shot another look at the others then turned and frantically looked for the door. It was totally gone.

‘Ahem. If you would be so kind as to be seated?’ A voice spoke from right behind him. Nerdy froze and turned around, to come face to face with the tall man.

‘Err, sure, why ah.. not.’ Nerdyy managed. He shot a look at Layla in the background. Layla was gesturing frantically at the man's back, pointing and making strange faces. Nerdy couldn't understand a bit of it. He made a face back at her . The man raised an eyebrow, then turned to look at Layla. That was all Nerdyy needed. He jumped at the man, going for his neck. The man twisted and pushed Nerdy down. Nerdy tried kicking out at the man's legs and got a blow to his knees.

The man growled and winced. 'Don't make me hurt you, please.'

'Who's the one getting hurt, huh!' Layla taunted him. 'My hero can beat you anyday!'

The man frowned at her.

'Err, please don't say that Diyah.' Nerdyy said. 'I really need to hit the gym soon. So I'd rather not get hurt either.'

'Smart man.' The man put out a hand and helped Nerdyy up. 

'So, if you don't want to hurt us, what are you doing with us?' Nerdyy questioned as they walked to join Layla at the table.

The man reached into his pocket. 

'HEY! Don't even think about it pal!' Layla had her gun aimed at the man's head. She shuffled on her feet. 'You may be big and tough but trust me, I know how to shoot this gun!'

'Yes, she definitely does.' Nerdyy said.

'Oh I don't I know it.' The man rolled his eyes. 'Calm down, will you?' He slowly eased his hand out of his pocket, pulling out a little bottle.

'Hey. What's that, huh?' Layla looked suspiciously at the little bottle. The man clicked a top and squirted  clear fluid into his hands, rubbing his hands together briskly.

'Hand sanitzer.'

Monday, September 24, 2012

Sunday, September 23, 2012

On the Road with Hope

Driving past a lonely apartment, a face in a window gazing out, one window of hundreds with the gummy residue in the shape of a heart. Scratched off, removed. It gave me an automatic smile, a straying  thought,a line for a poem. There’s a place where hope for love thrives. Absently my mind flipped it around, like a burger on the grill, a roti on the stove. There’s a place where love for hope thrives.
Was it the grey of the bleak morning, that faint chill that skimmed the caresses of breeze, that beckoned to the multitude of thoughts that seemed to waft alongside? Or the light brushstrokes of lemon sunshine that intermingled sparingly with the tumultuous clouds that tugged and pulled this way and that. It wasn’t absolute, the state of being. Was this melancholy or was this contentment?
A lonesome building, stripped of its identity. Where were the hopes of the people who once occupied it?  Ghosts of the past and future intermingled furiously, leaving behind sentiments that puzzle the bystander of today. Absolute emptiness, a void to be filled in. Fill in the blanks, complete this picture.  Nature abhors a vacuum. Neglecting a dimension that occupied time past, reality negated because it was not your reality. Your reality is today, not what was, but perception, what you choose to see. Do you see the crushed hopes left behind, or the enchantment of hope coming true, being found elsewhere?
Red light, 83 people crushed together on a bus. Where are they going so early on a Sunday morning? Were we all seeking some solace in the regularity of prayer? On the right, Home for Long Term Care. Visiting relatives put away into the care of strangers, a weekly chore of cheek to cheek kisses and murmured sentiments about the weather until fulfillment of obligatory time has lapsed. A sprawling empty parking lot with locked doors to the shopping mall. Leaving behind sleeping children early in the dawn to trudge out again for another day’s work at minimum wage. So many people, so many strangers, and all with their own story to tell. They all get off and get on at some point.
The strains of a song came to mind, We found love in a hopeless place.So much stronger was fulfillment when it outraced struggle. The irony of living was that we wanted things but we didn’t want it all too easily. In sorrow we raise our eyes wishing for our anguish to end and happiness to be showered on us, yet in happiness we hold our breaths, disbelieving. Was positivity a note too high? A summoning of extra energy that we could not hold on to for too long. Not that we cannot, but that we don’t wish to. Or was this simply a mirage that was indeed real – a reality that we could not believe in because we feared for its loss.
So many little things that we forget is beauty. We’ve given up on hope because we continually forget that there are more reasons to be thankful than not. Out of the clouds in the horizon, speeding ahead on the freeway with a horizon before us, a sprinkle of rain that comes out of nowhere. When the sun comes out, shall we dance?  

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Back to School 14

‘Where the heck are you?’ The voice came over the speaker.

‘Ummm,’ Layla looked sideways at Nerdy and gulped.

‘What umm? You know you have an exam tomorrow? You should be home sleeping.’

‘Exam?’ Layla was baffled. ‘What exam? I don’t have any exam! Classes just started.’

‘Economics. You had the class today. Anyways, where are you, I’ll pick you up.’

‘Umm,’ Layla gulped again.

‘Okay, nevermind. Get home now!”

Layla breathed a sigh of relief as the call was disconnected.

‘Err, what was that about? Who was that?’ Nerdyy asked.

‘You don’t wanna know,” Layla fanned herself. ‘That was such a close call. If he found out I was with you, oh man, he would blow his top.’

‘Err, your boyfriend?’

Layla burst out laughing. ‘No ways! That was definitely not my boyfriend.’

‘Then who was it?’

‘Umm,’ Layla looked around shiftily.

‘Ok you don’t want to tell me. By the way, he’s right. I’m giving you guys an exam tomorrow.’

‘What the beep, man. Why you doing that for? Are you nuts?’ Layla threw a dirty look at Nerdy.

‘It was in the pre-class announcements. You had weeks to prepare, Lulu. Speaking of which, I need to get back and prepare for the exam myself.’

Nerdy was at the door. It wouldn’t open. ‘This darn thing is locked! Did you say DM gave us this room?’ He struggled with the door, trying to force it.

‘I’ll shoot you Romeyo! How dare you give meeee an exam! Meh!’

‘For gods sake, Lulu. The door won’t open. Forget about going to the exam, you’re not going to get to go anywhere!’

‘What are you talking about? I will open it, move aside. Watch the professional.’

‘Lulu, you’re half my size,I hardly thi-‘

He stopped as Layla shot the door handle off. She threw him a triumphant look and grabbed her bag and pulled the door open with a flourish.

‘How the hell does a pellet gun do all that?’ Nerdy grumbled behind her.

‘Nerdy…come ‘ere.’ Layla’s voice has a strange tone.

‘Hold on a sec, I’m just grabbing a few things.’ Nerdy replied as he grabbed a satchel and filled it with a few new bottles. ‘1879 single malt, what a year!’

‘Come HERE, Nerdyy!’ Layla’s voice was more insistent now. Nerdyy came up behind her.

‘What is it, Lulu?’


Nerdy looked.

They were in the middle of nowhere.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Back to School 13

"Protection?" Layla stared at him.

"Yes?" Nerdy said tentatively.

"What the hell? Where have you been through all this. Hello! Of course, we used protection. I walk with it everywhere! You were the one complaining when I took it out for you!"

"Oh my God. I wasn't?" Nerdyy wasn't sure if he should sit or stand. His legs were feeling a bit weak, and yet, he wasn't sure it was right to sit on the bed again.

"You forgot it all! Here it is!" She rummaged in her bag again and brandished...her gun. "Here's my protection, my dear sweetcakes! Remember now?" She smiled at him and put her gun down, going back to brushing her hair.

Nerdyy stared at her, trying to untangle his thoughts. She's talking about her gun, so what's that mean? Is she still drunk? 

"Layla, what happened last night?"

"What do you mean, last night? You got soooo drunk man. And then DM- OMG You'll never guess what, I mean who! That bartender, the one who brought you in here when you fell off the table! GUESS WHO HE IS?"

"Oh please, I can't take the suspense. Don't tell me it's Zalim Rapist."

"No! It's DM! Can you believe this?" Layla stopped brushing her hair and sprang out of bed, the blankets falling off. Nerdyy winced and then blinked.

"Layla, your clothes."

Layla looked down at her clothes then looked back up at Nerdyy. "Yes, what about them?"

"They're, err, still on."

"Well, duhhhh! What did you thin-..." She stopped mid-sentence and stared at him. "Nerdyy! Wha...wait." She sat back down.

Nerdyy went and sat down beside her. "Um, nothing happened between you and I, right?"

"NO! Oh come on, no offense but, how would anything happen between us?"

"Err, you're the one with a degree in pulling men, remember. And I was fairly well intoxicated, judging by the throbbing in my head, and the fact I can't remember. But, really. Nothing happened right? I mean, no offense, but nothing can happen, we are, err, in a teacher and student situation."

"Romeyo! This is like...out of a Bollywood movie, man. What even made you think this? Even though I may seem otherwise, am a good girl. I don't do sheet like that."

Nerdy breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank God!"

"I know! Thank God! You are pretty damn fit but if anything happened my brother would..."

A phone started ringing. Layla and Nerdyy looked around. Layla rummaged in her bag and pulled out her phone, and looked at the readout.

"Oh no!"

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Back to School 12

Nerdyy opened his eyes, and automatically squinted. "Oh man," he held his forehead. His head was throbbing. He gingerly sat up and looked around. It was dim, wherever he was. He had no idea what he was doing here. He shook his head, trying to clear the cobwebs, sudden movement made him jump up.

"What the hell!" He looked at the sleeping form of Layla, and slowly the memories came back to him, along with a growing sense of dread. "Oh man." He looked down at himself and then at the sleeping form of Layla.

He started pacing, mumbling to himself. How do I get out of this? How did it even happen? I need to go back to US right away. Emergency. Yes, tell them it's an emergency. NOW, man, now.

He took a gulp from his bottle. Then, swallowing, he stared at it. How the heck did this get in my hand now? He tossed it over his shoulder.

"OUCHHHHHHHHHH!" Layla yelped, sitting up and glaring bleary-eyed.  She grabbed the bottle and threw it back at Nerdy's head. He ducked and the bottle hit the door, thankfully not smashing.

Nerdyy stood stock still, hands in his pockets, looking at Layla guiltily.

"What?" Layla muttered. She pulled her bag onto the bed, rummaged around until she retrieved her mirror and brush. Brushing her hair, she threw another look at Nerdyy. "Well? What's the big idea, huh? You can shake me nicely and  I'll wake up, you don't have to throw bottles at me!"

"Err," Nerdyy was tongue-tied. Were they seriously going to pretend nothing happened? Communication, that's the key in every problem.  Yes, might as well. He cleared his throat.

"Err, Layla. Are we seriously going to pretend nothing happened?"

"Oh, don't gimme that! We made a mistake, so what? I'll be honest with you, I didn't expect all that to happen. But it was just the way things turned out. It was a shock to see you like that and have both of us do all that. But as you can see, we are still good to go!"

"Oh.Ah. Err. Are you sure you're okay, Layla?" Nerdyy swallowed.

"How many times do I have to tell you Romeyo? I'm a big girl I can take care of myself." She threw him a playful look. "You saw that for yourself. I'm good, aren't I?" She winked and grinned at him.

"Well, if you say so. I don't really remember anything of it." He cleared his throat again. I have to ask, it's only proper. He blurted it out. "We used protection, right?"

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Back to School 11

"What do you mean, you've lost a body?" The bartender looked at a very tipsy Layla.

"I'm telling youuu! Oh you ain't lissening. Gimme another vodka lemonade, this thing is empty."

"As long as you're paying for it."

"Do I look like a bank? Takin' da piss. Romeyo will be paying!"

"Hmm. Who's Romeyo when he's at home?"

"Oh for God's sake." Layla looked around, "Romeyoooooooo? Oh Romeyooooooo?"

"Wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father! Wefuse thy name!"

At the loud proclaimation, the crowd looked around, then up. Nerdyy was standing on a table, beer mug held aloft.

"There's Romeyooo!" Layla pointed gleefully.

"Helloooo, bebbeeeeeeeeee!" Nerdyy held a hand out for Layla and pulled her onto the table.

"Oh Romeyo, are you d d d drunk?" she giggled.

"Me and d d d drunk? I don't get drunk!" Nerdyy swayed.

"Hold on Romeyo, the boat is tipsy!" She grabbed him before he fell off the table entirely.

"Hmm. Listen you two," It was the bartender again. "Drink at the bar, dance on the floor, eat on the table. That's how it is here."

"NOW YOU LISTEN HERE!" Layla bent down and glared at the bartender.

"I'm listening little girl, and I don't like what I'm hearing."

"I want to speak to the MANAGER! NOW!" Layla almost fell off the table, and Nerdyy grabbed hold of her.

"I am the manager."

"Do you know who I am! Do you?"

"I don't really care either way. Just get off the table, nice and easy..."

"Hic!" Nerdyy lost balance and fell off the table.

"Romeyooooooo!" Layla scrambled down, got to her knees. "Look what you did! I'll sue you! This is your fault!"

"Hey, I didn't touch the guy," The bartender looked nervous. "But, I've got a room to the back, let's take him there."

They carried Nerdy, and passed behind the DJ. The DJ frowned at Layla as she peered over the speakers and mixers, checking him out up and down.

"Who's that?" Layla said, following the bartender into the room.

"Who's who?" The bartender placed Nerdy on a bed.

"That guy, the DJ!"

"What do you wanna know for?" The bartender looked at Layla with a raised eyebrow. He knew her type, he thought to himself. They all think they have a degree in pulling men.

"I swear to God, I've seen him somewhere before!"

"Yeah sure you have," the bartender smirked.

"So who is he?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know? What kind of manager are you?"

"Listen, are you the Minister of Consumer Services or something? I don't need to answer your questions, little girl."

"No, belieeeeve me! I saw that guy somewhere, and I don't get good feelings about it. Maybe he's a murderer! You never know! So temme who he is!"

"I'm telling you, I don't know who he is. The DJ who was scheduled tonight got sick or something, this is his sub. He's doing a damn good job innit. "

Nerdy groaned from the bed. "Nerdyyy! You okay?" Layla knelt down on the bed.  Nerdy pried his eyes open.

"I think I'm fine. I need a drink!"

Layla looked around the room and grabbed a bottle. "Here, have this!"

"Hey hey. That's my most expensive bourbon. There's a reason it's stored back here and not at the bar."

"Listen mister, whatever your name is...Hey what's your name anyways?"

"Why do you need to know?"

"Just tell me! Are you a criminal or something that you're scared to give your name?"

"I'm no more a criminal than you are, little girl."

Layla opened her mouth to answer, then closed it sheepishly. She looked sideways at Nerdy, as if waiting for him to say something. Nerdy was laid back, happily sipping from the expensive bourbon bottle, a king in his castle.

"Okay. If it makes any difference, you can call me DM."

Back to School 10

The music was thrumming, throbbing, pulsing. The laser lights were all over the place, and it was dim and crowded.

"Err. Are you sure this is the place?" Nerdy looked around aghast.

Layla beamed, already moving to the music, "Yeah! Isn't it great! I always wanted to come 'ere, but no one ever wanted to come!"

"I can see why," Ether sniffed the air.

"Whaat!" Layla shot a glare over at him.

A photographer started taking pictures of the group, and Layla forgot her glare as she grinned, posing for the camera.

"Layla is this place even legal?" Jiya inched closer to the Nerdy and Ether, away from some men looking worse for the wear.

"Yes! It's legit! Cmon Romeyo, let's dance!" Layla grabbed his hand and pulled him onto the dance floor.


Ether looked at Jiya. Jiya made a face.

"So, what do we do now?"

"I don't know.." Jiya looked around helplessly. "This isn't my kind of scene."

"What's your kind of scene then?"

"Well, you know. I like calm. Tranquility. Meditation and stuff."

"Okay then, we'll do what you like!"

"What? How? Here!" Ether tugged Jiya's elbow and they disappeared.


"HEY! Oh my God. Nerdy. Jiya and Ether disappeared!"

"What are you talking about?" Nerdy looked around the crowded floor. "How can you even see them?"

"I was watchin' them. I was feeling a li'l bad, so I was going to call them over! But they disappeared all of a sudden!"

Nerdy looked around. All he could see in the crowd was...crowd. He took Layla's hand and pulled her back to where they'd left Jiya and Ether.

"Hmm. Yeah, they've definitely disappeared. How the heck does that happen? Maybe they went back to the car to check on IQ?"

Earlier, they'd driven Ether's car to the back entrance of the hospital and carried IQ through unnoticed and had lain her onto the back seat. That was before they realized it was going to be a tight squeeze trying to fit everyone else in. Layla, of course, came up with the solution. So they had ended up bundling a still unconscious IQ into the trunk.

"Yeah! That must be it!" Layla turned quickly and marched to the entrance.

Nerdy sighed, and followed. "Layla, where are you going now?"

"Obviously I'm going to check on my Rasgulla! You think I will let anyone else show they care about her more? Those two are trying to beat me! Come on, let's go make sure she's sleeping sweetly."

"Err. I don't think she's sleeping, exactly. And even if she is, how sweet do you think she'd be in the trunk of a car?"

"Shut up Romeyo. Am tellin' you! It was for the best, what if someone looked into the car when we were in there? They might think that was a dead body and called the police! Imagine!"

They reached the car. No one else was around, the lot was empty and dark, but for the few street lights scattered around the lot.

"They aren't here, Lulu."

"Well, they must have gone to the loo! Great! So, we can check on Rasgullah! Give me the keys." She put out her hand like a doctor asking for the scalpel.

"Err, in case you didn't realize. This is Ether's car. I don't have the keys."

"What!" She tossed a look at Nerdy, standing there with his hands in his pockets. "Okay nevermind, that's not a problem." She pulled out a hairpin and stuck it into the trunk's keylock.

Nerdy did a doubletake. "Wha...Layla! You're breaking into his car now?"

"Oh come on. Don't be a sissy, Romeyo. IQ is in 'ere. We have to make sure she's fine." She twisted her hand as she tested the lock.

The lock clicked. She shot Nerdy a triumphant smile and gestured at the trunk. "Tada!"

The trunk opened up. Empty.

Monday, September 17, 2012

Back to School 9

"Umm," Layla looked around bored.

Nerdyy was dozing in his chair. Jiya and Ether were comparing notes. IQ was knocked out cold.

"Ummm," Layla intoned a little louder.


Nerdy fell off his chair. Jiya and Ether looked up blinking.

Jiya frowned at Layla. "Hey. Keep it down! This is a hospital. We're not even supposed to have a body here. Do you want us to get in trouble? No. I didn't think so."

Layla stared at Jiya stunned, then seemed to gather her wits. "Hey! Don't talk to meh like that! Am so bored! Can't we do something fun?"

Ether cleared his throat. "Hmm. Layla, we have a woman who is in a state of unconsciousness arising from some illness or other that we cannot understand. All we do know is that you  are the reason for her being," He counted on his fingers. "One, shot at, two, tumbling down the precipice in the woods, three, put into a hospital, and four, being knocked unconscious again, with a bedpan no less."

"Listen, you can keep yapping, but I swear, I'll knock your head out if you speak to me like that!"

Jiya sighed. "So then what do you suggest we do?"

"No! No one ever listens to what I say. You all think I'm a bimbo. I know am not so smart like you all but trust meee, I can think too."

Jiya looked at Ether. "Layla, none of us have any better idea. We're just guessing. I promise you whatever you say, we'll do it."

Ether interjected. "Now, I don't think that's such a goo-"

"See what I mean!" Layla crossed her arms. "Whateva man. Just do whatever you bloody want."

"No, Layla I didn't mean it like that." Ether gulped. "I just ah, yes we'll do whatever you think.." He shot a look at Jiya, and she nodded.

"Come on guys. I swear to God. No one loves Rasgullah more than I do! I promisee you! I love her more than a sister! You think I don't feel bad? This is my Rasgullah here and I tell you again, nobody loves her more than I do! I would do anything for her!"

Jiya sighed again. "So what's the plan Layla?"

Layla smiled, "We go clubbing!"

Nerdy yawned from the floor, rubbing his eyes.

Versatile Blogger Award

Thank you all for attending this ceremony. I know you're all waiting for the next episode, but I have blogger duties to attend to. As we are gathered here today, dear friends and family, enemies and stalkers,...

Oh what the heck I GOT ANOTHER AWARD YAYAYAYAYYYYYY *throws up papers and does crazy dance*

There are rools I am told. My rebel side is muttering expletives at these rules while my goody-two-shoes side is pushing up her glasses eagerly.

a. Thank the Person for nominating you for the award and provide a link back.
b. State 7 random facts about yourself.
c. Answer the questions asked by the tagger.
d. Generate 10 random questions for the bloggers you nominated.
e. Pass on the award and inform them.

Thank you
 to Ajay and Kiara
for throwing this frisbee award at my head and knocking me out in shock. 
*rubs head*

Seven Random Facts about Moi.
1. I am very very very random. I often do things very spontaneously without thinking, and it usually ends up with me on the floor laughing after realizing what I did because of other people's reactions.

2. I love to laugh. I know, I know, who doesn't. But I mean, I REALLY love to laugh. People think I'm crazy because I love to laugh.

3. It's true. I'm crazy.

4. I have five fingers on each hand and five toes on each foot. I know that's what people normally have, but still, it's a fact about me, and you didn't expect it did ya? So it's random.

5. I love to argue, I mean I don't love to argue as in fight, but I do love to erm, talk back? I mean I can continue arguing a fact with whatever randomness I come out with. As many people usually aver, there's no winning with me. Even if I agree with the other person, I still can contend and represent the argument simply to keep it going.

6. I can never decide to cut my hair. As my dear Mr. Smoke has endured often, I always state randomly that I'm going to cut my hair this short, and I end up talking myself out of it, because I love my long hair. As he often states, "IQ, you've been telling me this for years."

7. I actually answered the questions posed by Ajay and Kiara, following these random facts, first, so that I didn't catch myself writing some random facts that I actually will answer again later on. Aha.

10 Questions From Kiara

1. What is your favourite song? 
My favourite song right now is Bas Ek Pal. This will change within a few minutes, or hours, mind you.

2. What is your favourite time of the day? 
I love mornings. But literally, it's 12.30 to 3 pm weekdays.

3. What is your favourite book?
50 Shades ... NO! YES I'M JOKING. I think I have a special place for three books for a very long time. 
The Blue Castle by LM Montgomery. I read this as a child. It's always been my secret world because it involves a woman ...still not a girl but not a woman dreams about her castle and prince charming while being pulled down by family. 

Where Rainbows End by Cecilia Ahern, it's not the greatest book, and it's almost childish, but there is something about the story, the friendship, that feels like it's made for me. 

Anybody Out There by Marianne Keyes. I love this author, and this book: I have never laughed so much for any book, nor cried as much. When I read it years ago, it was another keeper made for me. Why? I'll show you:

“I couldn’t be with people and I didn’t want to be alone. Suddenly my perspective whooshed and I was far out in space, watching the world. I could see millions and millions of people, all slotted into their lives; then I could see me—I’d lost my place in the universe. It had closed up and there was nowhere for me to be. I was more lost than I had known it was possible for any human being to be.” 

4. What is your favourite food? Fruit!

5. What's your favourite drink? Water!

6. What do you like about yourself the most? Um, I don't know, my best friend? LOL

7. Is there anything you dislike about yourself? Yeah same answer as previous one. No no, I'm joking. I don't like my sensitivity on a certain level..

8. If saving the world meant sacrificing your life, would you? Yes.

9. Is there any quotes you live by? If so, name them. 
Kia, you know which quotes I live by! Okay everyone else might not, here I go:

Live, laugh, love.
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things fall together.
Live for this moment, this moment is your life.
The people who think I'm losing my mind need to know one thing: I never lose.
He who angers you, conquers you.

10. Say something about me.
Kiara is an amazingly sweet, mature and thoughtfully down to earth girl. She's a bundle of fun and wisdom all tied together with a bright green bow.

10 Questions from Ajay:

1.Your motto in life? 
Be the best person I can be in terms of goodness.

2.Ideal person/Role model ? 

3.What is the last thing you want to do ? (haha, I know stupid question) 
Um. Die.

4.Where do you see yourself in 10 years from now?
Somewhere, 10 years older. 

5.What would be one thing you would like to change from your past?
Nonono, I like today. I pass. 

6.What is the crazy idea that is on your right now ? 
Um, I don't know..oh oh my mind? I'm thinking of jumping into the Atlantic ocean and either swimming or rafting. :P

7.What will you do if you are the last person standing on the face of this earth? (another stupid question)
I would sit.

8.What do you value the most in your life? 
My life.

9.Rate me or my blog on the scale of 10! (Please add 5 to whatever is in your mind)

I'll rate your blog. 8.57764643512349, and no that's not with the added 5. :o)

10.Review my blog, please.

Okay, I reviewed . :P

10 Questions for Those I Nominate:
1.  What domain was your very first email address on?
2. What is your favourite smell?
3. What is your favourite item of clothing?
4. What is the oldest item of clothing that you own and still wear?
5. If you had to erase a colour from the rainbow in order to save the world, what colour would it be?
6. What is your perfect pizza?
7. What do you do first when you access the internet?
8.  One day you were contacted to be told you were the winner of an award. What would you most likely have won this award for?
9. If you were taught how to hack like a pro, what would you do with this knowledge?
10. Your bank account suddenly has multiplied in millions. No matter what, everyone asserts that no deposits were made and this is how it has always been. What is your state of mind, what are you thinking, feeling - and what do you do?

And the lucky people who get to answer these questions are...... *drumroll*

  •  Nerdyy @ tbd. 

Please know that you do not have to answer my questions for you in an official post 
but your answers as a comment to this post is accepted. 
Thank you very mucho.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Hehe :P

Since Miss.IQ is not available during the weekends, thought I'd take the opportunity to, well do this :D  and I know you're all (Including moi)  waiting impatiently to read where "Back To School" leads, this is like a little commercial break or one of Miss.IQ's manyyyyy thoughts LOL
* Runs and hides *

Friday, September 14, 2012

Back to School 8

The doctor was examining the police officer, who was, to her relief, not dead. The symptoms were strange. There were no bodily wounds to be found anywhere, and her heart and ECG signals were normal. But she wouldn't wake up!

The doctor sat down and swivelled to the computer where she sat in thought, tapping the pen to her cheek. This is so strange, yet I know I've seen this before. There was no identification on the body, no one to contact for the Jane Doe who was just in all black attire. Stranger and stranger.

She picked up a phone and made a call. No answer. She dialled again, this time an internal number. 

"Hey it's me. Yes, please. Can you come down to my study room? Yes, by the emerg. Thanks. Hey, don't tell anyone. No, I'll tell you. Just come." She put down the phone and flipped through some notebooks.

The door flew open. She didn't look up, "That was fast."

"Fast? Yeah I know, am fast, I jog every morning so it was easy to race back fast. See I told you Romeyo, am fit and fine."

The doctor spun around. "What!"

The crazy girl and a tall handsome man was with her. "Hey stay away from me! I don't know who you are, but someone is on the way. If you come close I'll... slap you!"

"Hey, hey, hey." Nerdy held up his hands in peace. "Calm down doctor, we're not here to hurt you. We came to see our friend."

"Your friend? What kind of person dumps their friend's body and runs away?"

"Rasgullahhhh!" Layla ran to the police officer. "Wake up please! I didn't mean to hurt you! I thought you were a police officer so I had to run! Oh my God! Is she okay?"

"I don't know, to be hone-"

The door opened again, admitting another fellow in white lab coat.

"Who is that!" Layla backed up suddenly. "What's he doin' ere? He can't be here!"

"This is my um, colleague. I called him to check on your friend."

"You don't know what's wrong with her?" Nerdy looked worried, perching on a stool to the side. Layla sat on the examining table by the police officer.

"No, I'm not a doctor you see. I'm just an intern, sort of."

"What! What a waste of talent man! I thought you were a doctor so I was acting so well!" Layla rolled her eyes.

"Listen, something is wrong with her. I have a feeling I know what. So if you don't mind..." The intern motioned to her colleague.

"I'm sensing the consciousness is being filtered into a subliminal state of the oblivion and the soul is incurring negative vibrations through the pituitary gland with cross interference from another frequency."

"Say WHAT?" Nerdy and Layla made faces.

"I think what Jiya is trying to say," the colleague said thoughtfully."There exists some causality which is undermined by a force, most likely electromagnetic, that has disrupted the processing of her consciousness."

"Jiya?" Layla stared in shock. 

"Yes?" Jiya looked around nervous. "Are you going to kidnap me now that you know my name?"

"Romeyo, it's Jiya!" Layla looked over at Nerdy.

"Who's Jiya?" Nerdy scratched his head.

"I'm Jiya!" Jiya looked around indignantly. 

"Jiyaaa! It's me Layla!"

"Layla who?" Jiya looked around uncertainly.

"Uh excuse me, but who are you people exactly?" Jiya's colleague asked.

"Oh my God! I don't believe this! I'm Layla and this is my hero, Romeyo! Sorry, I mean Nerdy."

"Layla....Nerdy?" the colleague repeated, bemused.

"Layla and Nerdy?" Jiya's jaw dropped open. "No. You're lying. Who are you? This is a big joke right? I know it, where are the cameras?"

"Jiyaa, I don't think this is a joke. I feel it must be them."

"Err, you know us?" Nerdy looked at Jiya's colleague.

"Not really. No, not as well as Jiya does. I'm Ether, and it's okay if you don't know who I am." Ether smiled at everyone benignly. 

"Laylaa and Nerdyy?" Jiya still looked shocked.

"AS I WAS SAYING BEFORE I WAS SO RUDELY INTERRUPTED. Three point one four one five nine two six five three five eight nine seven nine three two three eight four six.."

"Oh my God she's awake!" Layla looked at the police officer. Everyone rushed over.

"Three three eight three two seven nine five.."

Jiya examined her. "No, she's not really awake. She's conscious but not lucid."

"Two eight eight four one nine seven one six nine three nine."

"Oh my god shut her up! I can't hear all these numbers! Givin' me a headache!" Layla looked around and grabbed a bedpan.



Thursday, September 13, 2012

Back to School 7

Leaving the body behind a bush, they snuck into a side door by the emergency entrance. Looking through the corridors, they observed the nurses stations and the bustle as doctors and patients travelled through the halls to side rooms.

"Owww!" Nerdy gasped, as Layla elbowed him.

"Romeyoo! Look there, that doctor isn't doing anything. You think we can take her on?"

"Err, taking her on isn't exactly my choice of words, but I guess we can persuade her to look at the cop.."


Layla snuck up behind the doctor, a young looking woman wearing a white lab coat, peering through a clipboard in front an empty room.

The doctor turned around and jumped, startled.

"Hi!" Layla grinned at the doctor, smoothing her hair down.

"Eh. Hello." The doctor eyed Layla's hair that was all tangled with broken leaves.

"Ya. So, I was wonderin...What do you that room?" Layla grinned and nodded towards the room behind the doctor.

"I...Are you a patient?" The doctor looked around for help.

"Me? A patient? Haha, oh my God, no! What makes you think that? I was just, ahm...wonderin, you see!" Layla kept grinning at the doctor. Oh my god, my cheeks are hurting.

"Wondering what I do in this room? Are you didn't esca...I mean, wander here from the psyc ward?" 

"I want to see inside the room. Please please please please please please?" Layla bounced at the doctor.

"Oh for God's sake. Okay, why not? Come on in." The doctor turned around and led Layla into the room.

All of a sudden, the door slammed shut.

The doctor turned around. There was a dead body on the examining table, and no sign of the crazy girl.

"What the..."


Tweak, tweak, tweak, tweak.

"Hahaha," Layla laughed out loud. "See! We did it!"

"Phew! We sure did. I was worried they'd ask me where I was going with my "drunk" friend I was dragging along." Nerdy huffed.

They were riding down the empty road, on the path to freedom once again.

"Layla, do you mind if we take a little breather? I'm sort of winded after that last bit going uphill."

Tweak, tweak,... tweak.

Layla got off the handlebars.

Nerdy dismounted and looked down at the pink tricycle with frilly ribbons.

"You know, I'm pretty sure that we could have just walked away from there. We didn't need to steal this....thing."

"No! Am telling you Romeyo! We had to, there were strange people watchingg us! I saw them watching me! I was feeling so nervous! I swear to god."

"Yeah, but I have never, ever ridden a darn tricycle. I'm a fully grown man! Don't you dare tell anyone about this. If you do I will tell them about how you almost killed that police officer!"

"I did not kill the cop!"

"And robbed the cop also!"

"I did not rob the....Hey, how did you know that?"

"I saw you do it, Lulu.  You walked away with her wallet! That has to be another crime right there!"

"Oh come on! It is not." Layla perched on a rock and opened the wallet. "Oooh, look at all this money!" She took the money out and tossed the wallet aside.

As Layla counted out the bills, Nerdy dropped to the grass and snatched the wallet with his fingers. He idly went through the identification. "Ivy Quicksilver...

"Ivy Quicksilver? What kind of name is that? That has to be a made up name." Nerdy shook his head.

"Yeah well look at your name, Mister birth certificate Nerdyy Khan." Layla kept counting.

"No, there is something about this name. And..." He pulled out the photo identification, and stared at it.

"Holy pastrami! Lulu!" Nerdy jumped up, eyes wide. "Do you know who you just almost killed?!"

Back to School 6

Nerdy got down and pulled off the police officer's cap. "Whoa!" A cascade of long hair came down. "This isn't a him. This cop is a woman."

"Oh no! That's worse!" Layla looked close to tears.  "I didn't kill her, did I?"

"Hmm. No, I don't think you did. I can sense a heartbeat."

"What! How? You're feelin' her up when she could be dead! You bein' pervy! Romeyo!"

"No! I...Lulu! I'm not even going to answer that. Geez."

"Ok fine. So what do we do? We can't just leave her here!" Layla looked around the darkening forest and shivered.

"No we definitely could not just leave her here. That would be closer to attempted murder than I'd be wanting to get."

"Murder? What did you do!" She threw the gun at Nerdy again.

"Layla. We've been over this. Stop blaming me, will you? I thought I was your Krishna and you were Radha, we're supposed to be..err, homies."

"Look, I ain't got time for this. I need to be home for Hollyoaks! Or wait, maybe I can call my sister to put it on record." She pulled out her phone.

"Layla, we have a body here and this cop needs medical attention. I know how much you love your tv shows, but this is more important okay."

"Whatever. There's no network on my phone! Taking the piss, man." She looked at Nerdy who was trying to lift the police officer.

"Yes, you can help me anytime now," Nerdy grunted.

"What? You're a big strong man. Am sure you can handle it," Layla observed with her hands on her hips.

"Layla! It's almost dead weight - almost dead thanks to you, need I remind you. So a little help please?"

"Oh ok! Sorry Romeyo." She grabbed onto the police officer's feet and they carried the body through the foliage, and finally reached a path. They lugged the body down the path, looking warily around for any passersby.

"Listen, Romeyo, there's a hospital sort of, that's part of the university. It's just right there. Shall we take her there?"

"Good idea Lulu. Only thing is, err what if they ask questions and look at us, we're all covered in mud and leaves and stuff."

"It's ok Romeyo. I got us covered. Extreme something means extreme measures!"

"Why don't I like the sound of that?"

"Romeyo! You gotta be bad sometimes. That's how you get da girls." She winked at him. "So, are you with me or not?"

"I really don't have much choice now do I? Ok let's do it bebbeeeeeeeeee"

Back to School 5

From outside, the loud blaring voice came again. "We have you surrounded! Do not try to escape! Come out with your hands up on the count of seven!"

"Seven?" Layla made a face. "What kind of police are these people? They can't count to ten or what?"


"Layla! We have to go, it's the only right thing to do." Nerdy breathed in deeply.


"No man! I ain't going out there! I aint going to get arrested! You go if you want! I have nothing to do with that!"


"I can't! They'll arrest me! I didn't do a thing. If you came with me, we could explain everything. They'll have to understand, you have to trust me Lulu."


"Something is seriously wrong with that police," Layla commented.

"Umm. Yes, I'd be inclined to agree except that I actually find that quite intriguing." Nerdy tapped his chin thoughtfully.


"In three what? Don't waste my time, we need to get out of ere!" Layla looked around. "Ok, there's a side door over there, where does that go!" She rushed to it and then squeaked.

"Oh my God, there's a big, scary looking cop over there with a big gun!"


Nerdy peered through the little window set in the door and winced. Indeed, a tall and well-muscled man was crouching outside the door, as if ready to storm it.

They backed away from the door. "Right, so that's out of the question. So what do we do..."

"CRACK!" Nerdy spun around at the sound of breaking glass. Layla was standing in front the window with a chair held aloft.

"I got it Romeyo! We'll escape this way! They won't expect a thing. Look there's bushes right down here around the window. We can sneak through the bushes and run into the forest over there."

"What the..."


"C'mon! Quick!" Layla crawled through the windows and jumped off the windowsill into the bushes below.

"I am never coming back to UK in my life, ever!" Nerdy declared, and with that, he jumped through the window.

"Romeyo! Over here!" Layla crawled through the bushes. Nerdy crawled after her.

"I'm so smart! We'll get out free in enough time to get home and watch Hollyoaks!" Layla grinned to herself.

"Layla, you know I love you, just at the very moment err, I think I'd rather be doing something I usually hate, tofu."

"Ew, don't mention that stuff man! That's disgusting. You want me to puke on you or what?"

"Freeze!" Suddenly a voice spoke right behind them.

"Oh my God, run!" Layla took off like a marathon runner, with Nerdy right behind her.

They raced through the foliage of the forest surrounding the campus. They could hear their follower's footsteps doggedly catching up to them.

As they hit a downward hill, Layla spun around and pulling out her gun, shot towards their pursuer. She tripped, going down, and crashing into Nerdy, they both went down over a steep decline.

"Aahhhhhh!" Layla landed on Nerdy.

Both breathing hard, they looked at one another.

"You know Nerdy, you look so cute like this too." She grinned at him.

"What? Layla, this isn't the place or the time..."

Suddenly a body rolled down the incline above them and dropped on them. Layla screamed and rolled out of the way.

"Oh my God!" She looked at the body.

"Oh my God." Nerdy looked at the body and looked at Layla. "This is the police officer. You shot him!"

"No! I didn't mean to kill him!" Layla kneeled down frantically and poked the police officer. "Wake up. You have to wake up. Oh my God!"

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Back to School 4

"Oh my god!" Layla squeaked. "The police are here! Why? What did you do?" She quickly threw the gun at Nerdy and wiped her hands on her skinny jeans.

"Wait!" Nerdy caught the gun reflexively. "What did I do?" 

"Yes, duhh. You're the one with the gun." Layla looked up at the ceiling, twirling a strand of hair.

"Hey...Wait a darn minute! I didn't do anything! This is your gun." Nerdy dropped the gun quickly. "Don't try to blame me now Diyahh. One second ago you were trying to shoot me down for ignoring you and now you're going to let me get arrested?"

"All I know is I am innocent." Layla sidled up to a window and peered out. "I got things to do, Hollyoaks to watch, I can't afford getting arrested."

"Oh and you think I don't have anything better to do? So what to I tell the police? Oh okay, I'm sorry this has Layla's fingerprints all over the gun and the fact there are so many eye witnesses to report that they saw LAYLA shoot the gun numerous times, but I'm the one you must arrest because Layla has to watch Hollyoaks? Yeah I'm so sure that will work."

"Yes, eggzakly!" Layla rummaged in her bag and pulled out her phone. 

Nerdy shook his head and peered out a window. There were swarms of police cars outside, lights flashing and crowds of students and faculty behind the barricade of cruisers. Nerdy ran a hand through his hair. Holy shmoly, how did I get into this? There is no way I can explain myself out of this. They'll take me in for...for what? I was the one who was shot AT! Ahhhhhh. This is a storm out the door moment and I can't even do that without getting arrested!

Nerdy turned around again from the window. And slapped his forehead.

Layla was singing and dancing away to music on her phone. "Lets do it do it do it! I wanna dancee! And lovee! And dance againnnn. I wanna danceeee and love and dance again! La la la! Dance, YES! Love, next! Dance, yes, love next! La la la!"

Back to School 3

"Woman! What are you doing with a gun on campus?" Nerdy got up tenderly. "This has to be a bad dream. I thought Beedi Basanti was just a joke. Same with your gun. Don't tell me you took it all seriously." He started checking himself for injuries.

"What do you mean? You mean you're not my friend?" Layla pouted. "You mean you don't take all of this seriously? What am I? A fool? It's a pellet gun anyway, since you're so worried." She rolled her eyes.

"You liedddddd to me! I will shoot your feet out right now!" She aimed her gun towards his shiny black Oxfords.

"Whoaa! Hold on," Nerdy held up his hands.

"Tell me why you ignored me!" Layla shot at the ground. The sound blasted throughout the large lecture room, and the students straggling in screamed and ran out.

"Tell me!" She aimed again and a window cracked.

"Diyaaaahhhhh!! Calm down!" Nerdy entreated her, his arms still up in the air.

"No! This is so cool," and to his astonishment, Layla started giggling.

"You can't fool around with a gun Diyah! This isn't a game!" Nerdy tried approaching her.

POW! "No! You stay back you traitor! I thought you were so damn fit and you tried covering your face and ignoring meeeeh!"

"Ok ok, I'm sorry Diyah I wouldn't ever ignore you..I was just shocked. I didn't expect to see you here."

"Well truth is out now, you saw me and you tried to run away! Now you have no choice, you have to do what I say now."

"Err Layla.. err Diyah.. I have a class to teach in the next few minutes.. If you don't mind..."

"You're not going anywhere until I say so. By the way, I thought you said you own a club and that's your job.  What you playing at man?"

"Err, if you paid attention to the class, you will recall that I said I'm guest lecturing...I was asked to share some of my business experience and acumen.."

"Don't use big words and try to lieee to mee!" Layla shot at the ground again.

"Be careful Lulu. You might run out of bullets, then what will happen?" Nerdy smiled at Layla.

"Nothing will happen. I got lots of bullets in my bag, see?" She opened up her bag that was filled with bullets and makeup.

"What happened to your books and pens and stuff? Like, school stuff?" Nerdy looked askance at her bag.

"Who needs-"


Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Back To School 2

"WHAT are you doing here Nerdyyy?" Layla exclaimed with her hands on her fists.

It was after class, a class that went along rather awkwardly with the teacher and the crazy girl at the front staring at one another throughout. Worried, confused and a bit scared on the part of the teacher. 

Still confused, Mr. Nerdy Khan packed up his laptop and looked at the crazy girl. "Sorry? I don't believe we've met before..."

"Check your class list then MISTER Nerdyy! I can't believe this! Are you seriously kidding me? You're Nerdyy! There is no one else with this name on the planet! There can't be!" 

"Well, err I would hope not. Ask my parents about the name if that's your issue miss.. It's on my birth certificate."

"No! Don't you know what this means? This means you're Romeyo! MY Romeyoo!" Layla insisted, blocking his way.

"Miss, I might have to call security if you don't remove yourself from my way" Nerdyy licked his lips nervously. Great, first day I'm teaching here and the first girl has to be a crazy Shakespeare Juliet wannabe! UK really is full of crazy people!

"Nerdy, listen to me. I am Layla!"

"Juliet, Layla, Sohni, Heer...I'm very sure that its all you miss. I'm not going to argue, but if you please..."

"NO! Layla! Beedi Basantii Laylaaaaaaa!! Oh my god." 

"Layla?" Nerdy stared, astounded.

"Yes!!" Layla grinned at him.

"Oh my god, its Layla!" Nerdy looked around panicked, and grabbed a book and tried covering his face and walking past her.

"What the -" Layla frowned. "Are you ignoringggg meehhh?"

Make it to the door, make it to the door, egress ahead, escape escape! Nerdy zeroed into the door.

And fell flat. 

"Ow?" Nerdy rubbed his head and sat up. "What the hell was that?"

"That," Layla smirked "Was my handgun. Dhisum dhisum. Remember? You all just laughed at mee!"

to be continued

Monday, September 10, 2012

Back To School 1

"Oh my god!" Layla gasped, "He is so damnn FINEEEEEE!"

Layla was standing in the doorway of her second class of the day. She continued ogling for a few seconds, until someone pushed her from behind and she suddenly came to her senses, realizing that the rest of the class were waiting behind her trying to get in.

"OH MY GOD!" She froze as they all pushed through, and she spun back out the door, leaning on the wall, holding her heart. "Oh god, my hair! My lip gloss!" She quickly rummaged through her bag and pulled out her compact and checked her appearance. When she was satisfied with what she saw, she straightened her back and walked into the class as any model on the ramp would do.

"Errr miss? You're late," said the man standing at the front of the class. Layla kept walking purposely, concentrating on the invisible straight line she knew models had to walk on.

"Miss! Errrr," he tapped her shoulder and just then Layla realized, he was talking to her! Flustered, she lost concentration and tipped over in her 6 inch heels, losing her balance. "Aahhh!"

Silence? She opened her eyes and was looking straight into his soft brown eyes. "Oh my god," she thought to herself. "I'm in his arms!" She pulled her arms around him tighter and smiled up at him.

"Miss, I've got a class to teach, if you don't mind..." He pulled her up and let her go.

"Oh!" Layla looked around and realized the whole class was staring in silence. "Oops, I'm sorry. Are you the professor?"

"Err, yes, sort of. So if you don't mind, let's get started?" He smiled at her, gently but politely, and then turned to the board.

Layla stood there for a few seconds checking him out, then as he turned around again with an eyebrow raised, she looked around quickly and took a seat right in the front row, smiling at him demurely.

She opened up her notebook and wrote inside "OMG HE IS HOT!! Hot teacher!! This is my favourite class!"

She looked up at the sound of his voice. "Okay class, I'll be covering a few sessions of this class as a guest teacher, and I've written my name on the board for those of you who want to write it down..."

Layla turned to a fresh page and then looked up again to copy the name.


The class jumped at the sound of her chair being pushed back suddenly and rudely. Layla was on her feet, and staring in shock at the name on the board.

"What the cappucino?" She threw a look at the teacher and stared again at the name. "Are you kidding meeeeeee? Holy espresso!"

She stared at the name on the board, "Mr. U. Nerdy Khan"

to be definitely continued

Good Morning

I realize that I haven't been posting here, and as I look across the horizon of the bloggers world, I guess it comes with comfort that it isn't just me.  It's that time of year again when school starts and work resumes at a ferocious pace, if not just continuing.

Aside from that, I haven't felt very loquacious, and there are varying reasons behind that which I will not go into. I guess it's something about just pulling into one's own self and feeling so extraordinarily thoughtful that no words could ever capture the thoughts that cascade, nor could one's mind still for so lengthy a period for this to happen.

Thanks to the lovely friends who keep poking me unerringly reminding us all that I'm still alive. And I do realize that a lot of my posts recently are so centred on these friends that others might feel excluded. I apologize if anyone else reading my posts does feel this, because by expressing my love for the friends who are closest to my heart, I don't really intend to make anyone feel slighted.

Another week, another day - and the sunshine's already in full force.

Wednesday, September 05, 2012

Layla Makes Her Mark

Beedi Basanti opens her stall today after much demand from the students at University.

Beedi Basanti hits the books with a 'dabangg'.

World Press

London, UK - While many students are doing last minute back to school shopping, UK's famed Beedi Basanti is all set to open up her newest and hottest location of her trademark corporation with a quaint little go-to stall on campus.

"Beedi Basanti is the thing now," says economic aficionado Ustad Nerdyy Khan. "She's employing a remarkably great marketing technique, "KISS: keep it simple stupid", and she is making a niche in an industry, for lack of a better word, that's never seen the likes before. Of course, I've got a err personal interest so I'm probably not the best person to ask."

Layla Basanti used the time away from university on her holidays marketing herself. Within three months, her "in your face" campaign has brought her contacts and contracts from all over the world.

"You can't meet Layla and ever forget her. She's so incredibly annoying when she wants to be, that you can't ever try to forget her. She won't let you," says newly acclaimed international chef Invisible Smoke. "The first few times I'd seen her around, I wanted to pull out my hair. She was always in your face with her rakhis and beedis and agarbatti. I couldn't believe anyone could be so annoying. But then you realize she's so loveable. Then you sort of miss her when she's not there."

Almost like the effects of the beedi. And it doesn't stop there. The demand for Beedi Basanti products has soared over the three months it's been going out by word of mouth. Statistics are showing that it's not just local, but Beedi Basanti has reach from Africa to India and all the way in good ol' America.

And she doesn't have to worry about licensing or the legal authorities. Layla has contacts extending right into the upper echelons of government agencies. Not that she needs to bribe anyone; she's down by the book, and she intends to stay that way. The question is, which book? Layla unfortunately wasn't available to comment.

"She's a good kid," says Layla's brother, "Rinka" Flickering Bulb during a smoke break. "Don't bother her with questions. She has to focus on her studies. And making friends at uni."

Why friends? "She has to find me her bhabhi."

You can follow Layla on her blog @

Tuesday, September 04, 2012


Four unproductive days. That's more than enough luxury for me. Or so I thought, until  I woke up at 6.30 before the fated Alarm-That-Never-Gets-To-Ring rang. "Oh dear lord, not work.." All of a sudden, the four days weren't long enough. I so did not want to crawl out of bed and begin the process of waking up.

As I sat up sleepily and rubbed my eyes, I went through the many possibilities that I encountered at that juncture in time. I could perhaps call in sick? No, that won't work. Faint memories of a dream where I was at work and being told off by a boss who usually doesn't tell me off glimmered at me. I shook more sleep out of my head. Maybe Isaac happened to dance himself all the way from south USA? Eh, yeah sure. I glaced hopefully at my curtain-drawn windows, because although curtain-drawn, I could tell it was boding rain out there. Don't ask me how. Superpowers.

I kind of don't remember what else I told myself, but I did finally get myself out of bed, after a few minutes of stretching. Out of the shower again, I had one of those irksome humid mornings where nothing I put on felt comfortable enough. Why oh why could I not just wear my pyjamas? I froze in thought, when I realized that my pjs just consisted of a single tee. Erm, yeah, ok IQ, you're not showing up at work in just that. Get your clothes on and quit fussing.

Rain man, it's been raining. Gloriously, I might say, except, the whole way to work I was sleeping.